Saturday, December 3, 2011

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Girlfriend

For the first lesson, we're going to start off slow. You guys should know most of these things but if you don't then you're probably cold and lonely. These statements apply to 99% of women, not all.

1) "Why don't you have a body like her?" - This is at the top because this can bring out the worst in any women. Doesn't matter who it is or if you have a sexual relationship with them or not. If you say this to a girl she will most likely give you the nastiest stare you have ever seen. It will make you die a little inside. Women are very sensitive about their looks and bodies so saying like this is just targeting their insecurities. Comparing your girlfriend to another woman in ANY way, is basically putting yourself in a spot where you will NEVER win.

2) "I forgot it was our anniversary today..." - Seriously bro, you can put on puppy faces for life and she will not forgive you. Women are cold and mean people, they don't give a mother fuck that you're "so sorry" or "regretting it." You forget once and it will haunt you for the rest of your life. 10 years later on another anniversary you somehow by the grace of god managed to remember, she's going to look you in the eye and say "I still can't believe you forgot our anniversary that time. You don't give a fuck a bout this relationship!" and at that point you'll start seeing all chances of you getting it in fading away. Damn, even talking about it painful..

3) "Don't take your period out on me."/"Go change your diaper". - Those will be the last words out of your mouth before she shanks your left nut. Saying that to a woman on her period is like running through airport security saying, "TALIBAN FO LYFEEE!" It won't end well. The best thing to do when your girl is on her period is too suppress your anger, keep your mouth shut and walk away from arguments. Specially on the first couple days, YOU CAN'T WIN.

4) "My Ex had amazing hair." - You stupid motherfucker, Refer to #1, last sentence. Let's get a few things clear, your girlfriend will have different levels of hatred towards girls. The most hated girls are your Ex's and your hot girl-friends. The mid-tier girls who they sort of hate but don't care for at the same time are the hot girls you check out at the mall, the one's they don't like/don't care for would be the average/ugly girls. Now your girlfriend's main goal is going to be to insult your Ex's to a point where even you start to hate them with your life. Saying ANYTHING nice about your Ex is going to be taken as a slap to the face. So don't mention your Ex, hate your Ex, forget she ever existed and you will be fine. :)

5) "Stop crying."/"Relax" - This will seriously make her cry even more or make her even angrier. A mesothelioma cancer lawyer is rarer then a woman who will actually listen to that statement. This will make her even more frustrated and cause her to start saying shit like "YOU SHOULD BE COMFORTING ME!," "WHAT KIND OF SHITTY BOYFRIEND ARE YOU?!?!" So take my advice, if they cry, hold them and don't say anything. It's the best way to go.

6) "I don't care." - Guys who say this are basically looking for an argument. Girls WANT you to care, so if you tell them the exact opposite, it's obviously going to trigger anger. You should always make them feel like every little thing that has to do with them holds meaning to you. Even if you don't give a flying fuck about what she's saying, suck it up and listen. If she asks you on an opinion NEVER say "I don't care," they will just get frustrated and angry. I admit, it's not as simple as it sounds but you should atleast put in an effort.

7) "I want to put it in your butt." - What, do you have like fucking down syndrome? You don't say that to a girl, keep your perverted fantasies to yourself until you actually get it on. If you want you girl to do things you like sexually, then you have to do things she likes that aren't sexual. That mean's listening to her, complimenting her, showing her you care, buying her presents and letting her know you love her. Now hear me out, NEVER lie to a girl for sex. They WILL find out, they got this inner sensor for lies in them. They can tell when you're trying too hard or lieing for sex. Just act like a good boyfriend and eventually you'll get what you want. 

8) Girl: "Who's hotter, me or her?"
    You: "I don't know.. It doesn't matter." - WRONG
RIGHT ANSWER: "Of course it's you baby, she's just some next hoe."
Before you start saying "BUT..BUT.. YOU SAID NEVER TO LIE!!!", there are things you should lie about and things you shouldn't lie about, if you are making your girlfriend feel good, it's acceptable since it's not for your own selfish needs. When you reply to a question like that with an "I don't know" or "Why does it matter..?" She hears it as you saying "wow you ugly bitch, obviously she's the hotter one." So yeah, ALWAYS say its her and don't just say it casually. You have too sell your point, make her believe it, otherwise you can say goodbye to happy times.

9) "Why aren't you wearing any make-up..?" - Okay look, girls usually feel naked around anyone without make-up, it's a necessity in their life. So if your girlfriends comfortable enough to be make-up free around you then she expects you not to notice it and still find her beautiful. It's normal for them to be always wearing make-up in the early stages of the relationships but you can't expect them to always be dressed up for the rest of your relationship. So don't be a dick, if your girlfriend isn't wearing any make-up it's a good thing because she trusts you to find her beautiful regardless.

10) *Insert any excuse* - Girls of all shapes and sizes, HATE excuses. Trust me on this one, you're better off just saying your stuff straight up instead of trying to cover up with excuses. For one, half of you guys don't know how to make excuses and end up sounded retarded and the other half make excuses all the time so they become unbelievable. It's okay to make excuses at times but don't rely on them to get you away from your girlfriend's anger. Like I said before it's going to be easier to get mesothelioma cancer lawyer, then to find a girl who will always buy your excuses.

So that's the end of my list, like I said before. They may be common knowledge to some of you but not everyone knows this. There are also a few guys who know but continue to do them any ways. Do yourself and your girlfriend a favour by just NOT saying these things. Life will be easier, trust me. 


Anonymous said...

good tips

Anonymous said...

talk about keyword stuffing...

Anonymous said...

thanks will really help in my relationship

Anonymous said...

... ok so 2 is compleatly wrong for me ive never keped track of my aniversary but im not mairied soo.

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