Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Friend Zone: What Are You Going To Do?

My friends, the time has to come to discuss one of the most dreaded fates in the dating world. The most painful place in the dating world because you are so close to getting the girl you've always wanted but you're so far. The place where friendships are ruined and hearts are broken. The Friend-Zone.  *Insert dramatic music*

Guys, how many times has it happened where you developed feelings for a girl, treated her like a queen, were always there for her, dried her tears, bought her gifts and followed her every command? You give her all of your love and then some. Then finally you build up your confidence, walk up to her and ask her out, only to hear "You're an amazing guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but you're like my brother, I don't want to ruin our friendship."

Painful right? I know the feeling. I've been there plenty times, I've always tried to be the nice guy but then one day I just got fed up and stopped caring. I shit you not, the moment I stopped caring is when all the girls started to think of me more then a friend. It's confusing but you know the saying "even too much of a good thing can be bad for you"? Well that apparently also applies to women. 

Once you start showering them with compliments, listening to their every demand and helping them with their boyfriend problems you'll start being thought of as "one of the girls", not a potential boyfriend. First of all, complimenting a girl is not flirting. Girls compliment each other, does it mean they're flirting? No. Complimenting is just a nice gesture, same thing with being nice and comforting each other. Think about it bro, if you're showing no signs of sexual attraction and you're acting like every one of her other girl-friends, shouldn't she naturally group you with them as well? 

What you have to do is find a middle ground, be nice and show your caring side but don't smother her. Show her that you have an attraction to her that goes beyond just friend ship. 


Now this is the tricky part, here is where a lot of guys ruin their friendships by coming off too strong and creeping her the fuck out. It's not an overnight process, the first thing you should do is distance yourself from her. Don't cut off ties, just do your own thing for a while and show her you have a life outside of her. If you're giving someone constant attention and company they get used to it. So if you were to suddenly stop giving them what they expect, it's only natural for them to get confused. Some girls will get irritated and annoyed at first, while others will blow it off as nothing because they expect you to come back to them. Eventually, no matter how they initially reacted, they WILL come after you. This flips the tables, since now instead of you constantly following her, she's going to pursue you to regain that attention. 

Now this is where you redo your past steps, instead of smothering her and putting her on a pedestal. Take a calm, confident and clean approach. By clean, I mean to have your intentions known. This doesn't mean to blurt out that you love her off, you basically flirt with her and show you do have some sort of sexual attraction towards her. This will erase that past brotherly image and repaint the canvas into your favour. 

All talk apart, this job is A LOT easier said then done. I'm NOT saying this will apply to all women. I'm speaking off personal experience and telling you what has worked for me. Me and my current girlfriend were best friends for 5 years prior to going out and we have been together for 2 years now. We are both extremely happy and I won't lie, having a best friend as a girlfriend make's things a lot easier. You know each other and have trust built up from before. 

Honestly though, even if there are a few success stories and good things about getting into a relationship with a close friend, there are just as many down sides. I may have showed you a method that worked for me, but every person is different. You can't learn to win over your friend's heart on an online college or website, every situation is different. A lot of friendships get ruined because of these scenarios. It's best to try and move on unless you have really strong feelings for the girl. I'm not trying to break anyone's confidence but I really just want to help you guys out. Make your own decision, are you willing to take the risk and possibly lose your friendship?























10 comments:

Publius said...

very good advice.... tho, the friend zone's hilarious haha

Crisalys said...

That's a very insightful reading. I bet it will be useful to many people. (:

jerzey72 said...

great post yay

Erixsson said...

like i saw a video on youtube, women and men can't be friends without someone have more interest.

cool_cicler said...

I cant believe there are still man who do this... being friendzoned sure sucks

Anonymous said...

love the post

Anonymous said...

i dont think there is an "out" when you are once in "the friend zone".
It's like mafia. Once you are in, you are in for life.

Rubes27 said...

I like that advice. Granted I do have girlfriends I don't want to be with, but man does that happen a lot!

Anonymous said...

friendzone why u exist??

freshfogger said...

The friend zone is the funniest thing ever, it happens to the people around me alot, i laugh...

Post a Comment

 
Design by Free WordPress Themes | Bloggerized by Lasantha - Premium Blogger Themes | Hot Sonakshi Sinha, Car Price in India